RESILIENCE - the art of bouncing back

ONE of the low points I experienced during my high school days at St. Peter’s in Ghana was when I dropped out of the list of top ten students in the General Arts class. This was during my second year.

Even at the nineteenth spot (out of 150 General Arts students in my batch), I was still acknowledged by many as brilliant.

For me however, moving from number two to nine and then to nineteenth was a big fall. I was on my way down and I needed to make a U-turn before the final examination administered by the West African Examinations Council (WAEC).

I tried to study harder. I found that the harder I tried, the more I realised that I had lost my sharpness. My concentration had waned. I couldn’t retain much of what I studied. I had to get help. So in the first term of my third year (which was also my final year in the school), I visited Mr Bempong in his house to seek help. Mr Bempong was the school counsellor. After a series of sessions with him, I began my journey back to the top. Learning became a passion, instead of a requirement for passing exam.

So the time to write the WAEC-administered Senior Secondary School Certificate Examinations drew closer. Before that however, our school organised a mock exam. The mock exam was organised under similar circumstances as the final one by WAEC was going to be conducted. It was to assess the readiness of students for the main exam. So the results came out and here was I; back in the top ten. Eventually, when the results for the final exam were released by WAEC, I was still one of the best in the General Arts class (still in the best ten). That was how I left St. Peter’s.

Have you ever found yourself in a position where you feel you have lost your glory? Or are you presently in a situation where you look back and say “How I wish for the good old days?” Well, I have something to tell you. Don’t just look back with nostalgia. Rather look forward with hope. Engineer your way back to the days of glory. There are better days ahead.

Bounce back in 5 steps

How can you make a U-turn to better days? Here are five steps for bouncing back:

1. Acknowledge where you were: If you want to bounce back, you must make a withdrawal from your memory bank. Look back at where you used to be. Remember where you fell from. Let that memory inspire you to turnaround.                                                
2. Admit where you are: Face reality. It is very easy to live on past glory when you are down. Living the present life on the glory of the past is pretentious. If you walk that road, you will soon realize that you cannot travel a long journey with remnants of your past.                                                                                                                                                                                       
3. Anticipate better days ahead: The reason you need to bounce back is not to make a return trip to the past. It is to put yourself on a pedestal that empowers you to fulfil your destiny. I believe that the future must be better than the past and present. We must learn to stand on the platform of the past and present to engineer a future better than any experience we have seen.                                                                                                                                                                                                                           
4. Ask for help: Definitely, when attempting to bounce back, there will be challenges; some of which you can surmount by yourself. For those which you cannot handle on your own, don’t be shy to ask for help from another person who is in a position to help you. Ask for help when you need to.                                                                                                   
5. Apply the lessons: Make a move. Don’t suffer paralysis over analysis. The only way to get back on your feet is to get up and start moving. Everything you learn while you are on the grass must be deployed to restore you to your graceful position.

There is nothing wrong with falling. However, there is everything wrong with staying down when you fall.

©2014 Terry Mante

COMPLACENCY - the bane of success

One of the privileges I am thankful for is my three-year sojourn at St. Peter’s Secondary School in the Eastern Region of Ghana. It was in this school that I received my high school education.

St. Peter’s was a great place to be. It was in this school that my journey of self-discovery began in a conscious way. There were so many experiences and occurrences that helped me to glean many lessons to guide my life.

In the second term of my first year in the school, I was named among the top ten students in the General Arts class. I remember that morning so well. Our headmaster acknowledged all the top students with what we used to call the golden handshake. That acknowledgement and handshake were highly coveted. The average St. Peter’s boy dreamed to be called forward for the handshake in the presence of the entire student body. We prayed for it. We studied for it. We hoped for it. So you can imagine how my head ballooned when I was called forward for that handshake. It was a moment of pride and joy.

By the third term of the same year, my ranking in the top ten had improved. I became a schoolwide sensation. I gained visibility, respect and admiration. It was awesome.

This went on until middle of the second year. My ranking in the league of extraordinary Arts students begin to slide. That was when I realized I had waned in the intensity with which I used to study. In no time I was out of the top ten. Although I never went beyond number 20, the fact of the matter was that I had lost my glory.

My sliding experience typifies how we can back-track through a sense of satisfaction. Sometimes, we become so satisfied and glorify ourselves in our achievements that we lose sight of the work we must do to preserve or improve them. In no time, we begin to retrogress.

It is great to achieve something but it is challenging to sustain what we achieve. The joy of success could be the trap of failure. When you allow the joy of success to get into your head, you will slip downwards.

At the point of success, more than merely celebrating, we must think carefully about how we can keep our achievements up there. At the point of success, the prolific Christian apostle Paul did not suffocate in his achievements. He still felt that there was more to achieve. His declaration that “Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me” (Philippians 3:12, NKJV).

Even though Paul had achieved a lot, he did not lose focus on his destination. In St Peter’s, my destination was not the headmaster’s handshake. My destination was the final exam administered by the West African Examinations Council. However, I nearly got suffocated midway.

How do we avoid suffocation? How do we continue in the way of success? How can we escape retrogression? In Philippians 3:16, Paul’s suggestion gives an indication of what we should do. He says, “… to the degree that we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us be of the same mind.” Paul points to us that no matter what we achieve we must not shed off the principles and posture that grant us success.

Principles

Principles are laws. They are laws that govern what we do. If you repudiate principles, you will suffer the penalty of carelessness. If you respect principles, you will secure the prize of compliance. When I got careless at St Peter’s, I paid for it. To the degree that you achieve, you must keep to the principles. The practices may change but the principles must not change. For instance, a football coach will operate differently from when he was a coach, although the same principles of discipline and fitness apply.

Posture

Attitude is everything. Your posture at the point of success would determine how far you go. When you do well, be thankful. By all means, celebrate but while doing that be on the lookout for pride and laxity. When you succeed at something, don’t lose your posture. Maintain diligence. Be consistent. Be of the same mind.

THE greatest success is success that endures; it is success that lasts. True success is not temporary. It evolves. It grows. Don’t allow complacency to lead you downhill.

© 2014 Terry Mante

CEO, Personal Development Network (PEDNET)

Accra, Ghana

Tel: +233.267.186.420

3 KEYS FOR LIVING IN INTEGRITY

“To become a person of integrity, you must make a commitment to be on the side of truth.” - Terry Mante

LIVING in integrity could be hard but compromising integrity could be quite expensive. Integrity is hard because it is not cheap. It requires a price characterized by toughness, discipline and sacrifice. Although the price for integrity is high, its prize is enviable.

How can we integrate the virtue of integrity in our lives? What can we do to ensure that our lives are characterised by integrity? I have three ideas for you: Speak the truth, synchronize your life and sincerely turn around.

Speak the truth

To become a person of integrity, you must make a commitment to be on the side of truth. Sometimes, it seems convenient to compromise the truth in order to look good in the eyes of people. In the long term however, it turns out that telling a lie under any circumstance is a serious breach of one’s honour, dignity and conscience.

There are times when telling the truth may put you out of favour with people. Scenes like that put us in awkward situations and could compel us to sacrifice the truth for favour with people. Yielding to such a temptation may be enchanting momentarily but later, you will realise that even the people you sacrificed for will not have trust in you.

Synchronize your life

One of the definitions for integrity is “the state of being whole or undivided.” Practicing integrity in life means building a life that is together. It is a life that has no chasm between what is private and what is public. Real integrity is a life that does in private what it portrays to the public. It is a life that is not afraid of being caught.

Legendary talk show host Oprah Winfrey considers real integrity as “doing the right thing, knowing that nobody is going to know whether you did it or not.” If something is right in public, it must be right in secret too.

Sincerely turn around

Although integrity is a commitment to say and do what is right all the time, you will certainly not do what is right all the time. As human as we are, there would be times when we shall be sincerely wrong. Sometimes, we say or do things with the conviction that we are right but it turns out that what we perceived to be right was not exactly so.

People of integrity do not invent excuses to justify actions or expressions based on false perceptions. Rather, they boldly admit their error and change course to move on the path of truth.

It is also likely that once a while, you may yield to the temptation to compromise the truth. If that happens, your conscience will prompt you. Don’t defy your conscience. You may be found out. Don’t attempt to defend yourself when what you do in darkness comes to light. It may be shameful but if you admit your mistake, you will set yourself on the path to regaining your integrity.

Two rewards of integrity

• Trusted identity: Integrity gives you a good name. It gives you an authentic voice. It gives weight to your character and enhances your reputation.
• Trans generational impact: People who live with integrity are able to pass on enduring legacies. If you live in truth, what remains of your life will stand the test of time. You will touch lives even beyond life.

You may not be perfect. You may not be right every time but integrity will earn you credibility and respect.

© 2014 Terry Mante

CEO, Personal Development Network

Accra, Ghana

CCC's RANSFORD OBENG - a paragon of simplicity

Pastor Ransford Obeng of Calvary Charismatic Centre, Kumasi, Ghana

Recently, I spent a weekend in Kumasi moderating a number of focus group discussions for a marketing research firm I work with.

So while there, I decided to spend Sunday morning at Calvary Charismatic Centre (CCC), a church headed by Pastor Ransford Obeng. In Accra, my regular place of worship is the International Central Gospel Church (ICGC). However, I didn’t fellowship with any of the ICGC assemblies in Kumasi.

So what informed my visit to CCC? For several years, Obeng has been a regular fixture on the cast of guest speakers who feature at ICGC’s annual Destiny Summit. Notably, Obeng is the only Ghanaian preacher (of course except summit host Mensa Otabil), who gets featured at that high profile international conference. This is a conference that has featured global pastoral and leadership brands such as Fred Price, Mike Murdock, Marvin Winans and Sam Chand.

It dawned on me that outside of Destiny Summit, I don’t hear much about Obeng even though Pastor Otabil speaks very highly of him. Whenever he introduces Obeng at Destiny Summit, Otabil extols his (Obeng) personal simplicity and leadership sophistication. That faithful Sunday, I went to CCC not only for a worship experience but for an excursion as well; to verify how simplicity and humility produce sophistication and excellence in leadership.

So here was I in my moment of truth. In my short-sleeve, light green-patterned Woodin batik shirt, worn over a pair of light brown trousers, I rode in a cab to the spacious campus of the church.

Impressions at CCC

My first observation was made at the parking arena. It was well-laid out, spacious and starkly clean. Although there were several hundreds of vehicles already parked and others being parked, there was still so much space. This made the parking lot very orderly (of course not without the assistance of the well-trained traffic assistants).

I looked around and also realized that people were huddled in various small groups (of about 15) for Bible studies. I strolled around for a while before making my way into the empty auditorium (empty because all the congregants were in their various Bible study groups. These group studies took place under sheds purposely built for that a sign that everything is taken seriously). In my estimation, the auditorium could sit about 4000 congregants in a meeting. And by the way, this is the auditorium Pastor Otabil rates as the nicest he has ever preached at in Ghana.

I decided to take a tour of the auditorium. While doing that, I was approached by a gentleman who politely prompted me that I could not walk around while the group Bible study was on-going. When I informed him that I was a visitor, he offered to assist me find a group to participate in the Bible study. After the group study, the church re-converged on the main auditorium for the plenary service.

Overall, it was a well-coordinated service. I looked forward to seeing Pastor Ransford and his team of armour bearers majestically stride into the service. Wrong Terry, wrong. This is the church of Pastor Ransford ‘Simplicity’ Obeng. The man had been seated all along. After a lovely shadow theatre performance by the Children’s Department of the church, Obeng (with his tablet, Bible, note book and microphone) climbs the stage, mounts the pulpit and asks that the praise team leads us in a short time of music. His costume was a non-elegant short-sleeve striped shirt over a pair of black trousers.

He walks back stage for a short while. Initially, I imagined that he had gone to the wash room to pay his water bill. When he returned to the pulpit, he explained that he had to go and express his appreciation to the children who had just performed. He was so touched by the shadow theatre that he had to meet them personally and immediately to encourage them.

He preached for just about 20 minutes and the service was over.

Service in session at CCC

Obeng’s modesty

• The obvious lack of strict protocol around this great pastor made a strong impression on me. The fact that he walked on stage without any form of introduction (which is not normal in charismatic denominations), carried his own preaching tools without the help of any armour bearer makes his style remarkable.
• His confession that until that day, he had never seen a shadow theatre was another mind blowing deal for me. I asked myself, ‘How many pastors will make such an admission before their congregation?'
• I had the opportunity to get close and say a quick hello to him, without any appointment. This was possible because he hang around to personally minister to some of the congregants who needed to be ministered to.

Now, make no mistake. CCC is a big church that can ‘rival’ any church in any part of the world. And hey, don’t think that because it’s in Kumasi, it is not international enough. CCC is a typical English-speaking church.

Before I left that Sunday, I picked up a lesson that I can be simple, modest and humble, yet effective, influential and sophisticated. I left with a prayer and resolve that I no matter how great or influential I am or become, I would remain humble and modest. So help me God.

© 2014 Terry Mante

CEO, Personal Development Network (PEDNET)

Accra, Ghana