Tuesday, August 5, 2014

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE

In our school days, whenever a student did well at the end-of-semester examinations, it was not uncommon to hear them say “I got an ‘A.’” However, if it turned out that the student performed abysmally, one was likely to hear them complain that “The lecturer gave me a ‘D.’” Why is it that when the grade is good, they say “I got” and when the grade is not good, the mantra is that “The lecturer gave me?”

Very often, I read stories about accused persons who plead for clemency in the law courts on grounds that the devil caused them to commit the offences they were being tried for. Devil indeed!

What about people who blame government for every misfortune in their lives? When they run out of cash, it’s the fault of the government. When they are late for work, they blame the government for not managing the flow of traffic well enough. Could the person with cash flow challenges take a second look at their spending behaviour? Could the late employee try to leave home a bit earlier in order to avoid being late?

I know that we will not always be in control of all the factors we require for success but we should also realize that we always have a part to play. Before you take a swipe at the system or the devil, consider whether you have done your homework. So I ask you, “Have you done what you are supposed to do?”



Years ago, I wrote a book captioned Attitude is Everything. I prefaced that book with a pearl of wisdom from Confucius. This ancient sage of Chinese philosophy taught that “To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; and to cultivate our personal life, we must first set our hearts right.”

We all want the world to be a better place. We want the economy of our country to improve. We wish the fortunes of our families would experience a turnaround. However, we sometimes fail to see that we, as individuals are primary constituents of our families, nations and the world as a whole. The state of the world, nation and family is a reflection of the state of individuals who constitute the whole.

Even though it is important to hold government accountable, we must also endeavour to play our role. You must take responsibility for your personal life. Your employer may be paying you peanuts but how you deploy your peanuts is your own business. Your spouse may be cheating on you but if you decide to seek revenge by doing likewise, that is up to you. Other road users may jump the red light but if you do same and traffic police stops you, it’s on your head.

Even though other people and some extenuating situations could have an effect on us, we are ultimately responsible for the final outcome of our lives. If we decide to take charge of our lives, we can produce the effects we desire. Whatever will be in your life is up to you.

You must be definite about what you want in life. Sometimes, what you want will be in sharp contrast to the prevailing realities of your life but you must determine to drive yourself towards what you want. It’s time to own your life. Don’t be a passenger or a pedestrian in your own life. Be a driver. Get yourself where you want to be.

Again, from my book Attitude is Everything, I clarify that “The difference between those who give up or mess up and those who consistently progress is neither in the succulence of opportunities one has nor in the intricacies of challenges that confront a person. To me, the real difference is in the way we respond to situations.”


© 2014 Terry Mante
CEO, Personal Development Network (PEDNET)
Accra, Ghana

Tel: +233.267.186.420